NEW GRAD INTERVIEWS FOR FIRST TEACHING JOB
Administrator: Why do you want to become a teacher when so many in the teaching profession have come under tremendous criticism lately ?
Grad: I want to change those perceptions by being the best possible teacher I can be.
Administrator: Do you realize most districts like ours are running a deficit and need to cut salaries and benefits ?
Grad: I don’t care about my salary and benefits, I’m here to make a difference in the lives of children.
Administrator: Your evaluation will depend almost solely on the test scores of your students, do you have a problem with that ?
Grad: Not at all, I welcome it, that’s how it should be.
Administrator: You will have no say in the curriculum and we will advise you as to what methods work best; you will be expected to follow those.
Grad: Absolutely, I intend to follow the wisdom of the experts.
Administrator: How will you handle discipline problems that might arise in your classroom ?
Grad: I will have the best classroom management skills possible, build rapport with the students, and overwhelm them with enthusiasm. I don’t anticipate any problems. There is no such thing as a bad student, there are only bad teachers.
Administrator: We need a new basketball coach, someone to run the student council, a teacher to monitor the school newspaper and tutors for our after school program. Would you be willing to accept any of these positions?
Grad: I will take on as many additional responsibilities as possible. I’m here for the students, I will put in as much time as necessary to get the job done, even if that means nights and weekends.
Administrator: You’re not one of these rabble rousing union types are you ?
Grad: I don’t believe in unions. I have complete faith in my superiors to do the right thing when it comes to my job stability.
Administrator: We have a lot of disadvantaged children and many who come from broken homes and live in conditions that have caused them to be ill prepared for school. How do you intend to address those problems ?
Grad: I view every child as a unique individual who is fully capable of reaching the proper levels of achievement, and I intend to do whatever it takes to make sure the child succeeds. That would include going to the child’s home if need be and putting in extra hours of one on one tutoring.
Administrator: This current generation of teachers has bankrupted our state, caused student achievement levels to sink to all time lows, used outrageous unions to browbeat districts into submission, caused unbelievable property tax increases, displayed incredible incompetence, caused global warming, and generally has been the main contributor to the decline of Western Civilization.
Grad: Is there a question in there somewhere?
Administrator: Yes, how do I know once you have tenure you won’t also turn into one of the reasons for the decline of Western Civilization ?
Grad: I’m here for the students, I don’t believe in unions, tenure, benefits or any of that other unimportant nonsense.
Administrator: Young man, you’re the kind of teacher we’re looking for ! What did you say your name was again?
Grad: Jesus Escalante.
Administrator: That last name is familiar to me for some reason.
Grad: Perhaps you’re thinking of my grandfather, Jaime.
Administrator: Ah, yes. Well, welcome aboard young man. You indeed are the teacher of the future.